This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
