i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
