Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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