Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In other news, I just burned my penis
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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