Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
