i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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