I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
