OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I touched a dick in church today
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
