I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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