do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
