break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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