you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
