I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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