it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize