I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Two words: blizzard sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize