Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
