There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
