Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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