If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
