rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
