I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
