When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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