oh god the rape fog is back!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
