just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
