it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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