if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
