too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
