Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
