I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
