my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
