How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize