i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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