i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
