rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
