Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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