I heard we made out
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
