pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think your dad took our porno
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
