No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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