I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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