tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
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