We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
