when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
