That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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