she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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