Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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