Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
