We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
