Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
