When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
