What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
