Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize