I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
