Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
