the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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