What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
