yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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