I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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