I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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