he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
