Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
