Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
