You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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