how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
