One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize