Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
