wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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