That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to calm my uterus...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
