What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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