How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
